The Many Forms of Courage
by ElizabethJohns
Summary: This is the story of Valerie Prince a fifth year Slytherin student. She begins to doubt her place in her house and must hide it from those around her. Will she be able to break away from pureblood beliefs? Or will she display a form of courage that no expects, even her? Eventually Sirius/OC
1. Chapter 1

**This is the preview to the story that I've wanted to put on fanfiction for a while now. The Harry Potter fandom is a very intimidating place. There are so many good writers out there and so many diehard Harry Potter fans and I don't want to disappoint anyone. So I've finally worked up the courage to start posting this story and hopefully people enjoy what I've written.**

**I'd love to get some feedback just on the introduction before I post more of the story and make sure my OC Valerie isn't a Mary Sue. I know I don't have much in this first section, but I have 10,000 words ready to be posted once I do the final edits, additions, and hopefully get some feedback. **

**Thanks so much for visiting my story!**

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**The Beginning **

Her stomach curdled as she examined the faces of her friends, each word however made the smirk on her face grow to show her feigned excitement. They spoke about the war again, not too in-depth because after all it was the great hall, and she wasn't exactly apart of the inner sanctum.

"But I mean in all honesty I don't understand how Dumbledore can let all these mudbloods roam ours halls," spoke Mulciber. "I thought he was all for learning. How am I supposed to learn when they're around dirtying up the air?"

Valerie sighed, "Perhaps, so when we leave here we know what to watch out for."

"Heh, you mean aim for," Avery chuckled.

She examined her perfectly manicured nails, "exactly." And the conversation continued, she had put in her say, what she called the mudblood quota, and now allowed herself to remain quiet. Just say a few mean things a day about muggle borns and you're set, or in her case a little more than set. Lately Valerie found her self becoming unwillingly pulled into the inner circle of the Slytherin; a very dangerous place to be if you weren't truly meant to be there. The thought made her inwardly cringe, but her bored expression remained bolted to her face. Another rule she created to get by was to keep your face clear at all times. Emotions show weakness and weakness was disgusting. It was true she didn't exactly believe what everyone else preached, but she still wanted to uphold the Slytherin standards and the standards of her family. She was cunning, in control, smart, and of course she'd look out for one of her own, even it was just to keep her house from looking bad.

It hadn't used to be so hard. Last year it seemed almost easy. She had been dating Regulus Black and allowed herself to believe she had fallen in love. Though they were very young he gave her somewhere to escape to. When she felt insecure about what she believed he would hold her. He listened and didn't judge her, and more importantly didn't use her words against her. At least he hadn't at first. Her relationship with him was what initially put her on the social map. Bellatrix always took a personal interest in Regulus's relationships to make sure he was upholding the Black family values. After their messy breakup over the summer she overcompensated by verbally lashing out at muggle borns and Gryffindor's. She actively participated in conversations about the war. She was worried that her break-up would lower her social status to non-existent or worse make people suspect her as a blood traitor. After all their relationship had been over his obsession with the dark lord. Apparently she had gone a little overboard because not only had the break-up been forgotten, but also the most popular students in her house accepted her. Which was ironic because they too had been a reason she and the Regulus had parted ways.

However, she was no longer sad about the relationship. It took her the rest of the summer in her room to realize it, but what they had wasn't much of a relationship. She had been drowning in Slytherin and he had been the one to temporality pull her out of the water. The only regret she had was that now she was stuck more then ever pretending. Not to mention the constant fear that Regulus would rat her out for the fake she was.

Her family wasn't making things easier either. When she announced she was dating a Black they were overjoyed and began to focus on her for the first time in her life. Up until then they only had eyes for her brother Vincent. But when she told them of her break-up they seemed more upset then she did. Her mother had practically begged Valerie to go over to Regulus's house and stay there till he took her back. Her parents were determined marriage was the only way she would get somewhere in life. When she refused to comply with them she had been locked in her room for most of the summer. She now had their complete attention, but the catch was it was negative attention. She was a disappointment to them.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a fittingly uproarious laughter from the Gryffindor table. It generated from the most rambunctious troublemakers since the Prewitt twins roamed the halls, not that she had seen much them since she had only been in her first year, but she had heard the stories. It seemed that the four boys felt it necessary to try and start a food fight, though no one else appeared to be joining in. McGonagall made her way over to the table to give them detention and hopefully take house points; it was Slytherins year to take the House Cup.

She looked around, during her inner thoughts most of her friends had cleared out. Valerie was left with mostly younger students, Regulus included; the laughter at the Gryffindor table had drawn his attention, though for an entirely different reason. Last year she would've have comforted him and talked to him about his brother but instead she rose from her seat and decided to make her way back to the common room, hopefully she wouldn't run into any mudbloods, she was much to tired to come up with insults.

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Her journey downstairs to the common room was uneventful as she had hoped, and now she lay comfortably in her silver sheets, curtains pulled closed. So far it was a decent start to the year. Her and Regulus were civilly ignoring one another and she was still on good terms with her roommates Katherine, Viola, and Alecto. She only hoped it would continue to be as quiet as tonight, there was only two years left no reason to introduce new conflict now.

**Thank you for reading. Review if you liked it or if you have feedback on what I can work on!**


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much to Beardbob and Makilop for reviewing, as well as everyone who followed the story!

Valerie burst through the heavy door to the girl's lavatory, and promptly secured it before she muttered Colloportus at the door. She'd barely made it to the toilet before she began to vomit into the porcelain bowl. It was too much, pretending wasn't cutting it anymore, every word that came out of the purebloods mouth was viler than the last, but that wasn't the worst of it. Lately more and more from her house were beginning to take action. And now first years weren't even being spared.

The other day she had left History of Magic only to run into Bellatrix, Lucius, and some other 7th year students. They all stood around a little girl in the corridor, she was already shaking on the stone floor by the time Valerie had gotten there, but nothing but words had been thrown at her. Until Bellatrix stepped forward, she sent some sort of jinx at the girl that had caused blood to come rushing out of her mouth. Valerie was sure she had let her mask slip for a second before she realized that everyone else was smiling. And when Bellatrix had turned around it was what truly disgusted her, a crazy light filled her eyes like she had never been happier. Valerie was surprised she hadn't gotten sick sooner.

A knock sounded on the door that made her quickly rise to her feet and flush the evidence of her defeat down the toilet. Before she could even send a spell to unlock the door it swung open to reveal none other than fellow fifth year Lily Evans. The Prefect just stared at her wide-eyed and Valerie answered the look with a blank face that only flustered Evans more.

"I'm sorry" Evans pointed at the door. "I knocked I didn't know someone was in here."

Valerie didn't answer, and instead continued to the sink to wash her hands. Her eyes watched Evans in the mirror, she didn't move at first just stared at Valerie's back, but then moved into the first stall. She sighed and turned her eyes back to her own reflection. Throwing up had made her blue eyes water, and her dark hair seemed like it could definitely use a brush or perhaps a quick cosmetic spell. Her reflection just made her want to throw up again. The high cheekbones and delicate nose just spoke to her gene pool; she was a pureblood Slytherin, hell they all looked related, well except for Malfoys they all shared the white blonde hair instead of the dark locks that the rest of the house seemed to have.

"So why can't I do this" she whispered to herself.

"I'm sorry?"

Valerie jumped she hadn't realized that Evans was out of the bathroom. Her back straightened and her eyes narrowed "mind your own business mudblood." She didn't waste time before she left and stepped out of the bathroom, it didn't save her however from seeing the stunned look on Evans face. Mouth open in shock, barely breathing, and eyes so glassy you would think they would shatter. Lily Evans had never been called that before, at least not to her face. Valerie needed to find another bathroom fast.

A week later….

It was getting worse. Every day she would just sit back and watch, as someone completely innocent was tortured. She'd even practiced her sadistic face in the mirror last night, and then of course threw up. It seemed every other day this happened, her stomach just couldn't take it. Which is why as she walked into potions class her face was pale and every step felt like a mile, food was a sacrifice she had to make if she wanted to survive this year.

She stepped into the room and realized something was amiss everyone was staring at her.

"Ahh Miss. Prince" Slughorn spoke from the front of the dungeon. "How nice of you to join us this afternoon. I was just assigning new partners, the Headmaster has told teachers to encourage students make friends outside of their houses."

Was he serious? That was a terrible idea; Valerie felt that every house should probably be separated as far as possible from the Slytherins if they wanted to live.

"I'm going to have you sit with Mr. Lupin here."

She sighed he was a Marauder. Lupin's eye's widened considerably, but he tried to keep his cool. Which was something she couldn't say for his friends Sirius and James. Both boys glared at her with such perfected disgust it would make any Slytherin envious. Her eyes rolled automatically and she exchanged looks with her other classmates who had already been partnered with Gryffindor's. Reluctantly she sat down at the table with her things and Lupin did the same. Immediately Katherine one of her roommates turned around at the table in front of her.

"Bad luck eh Val," she said as her eyes shifted to Lupin. "At least you didn't get a muggle born like me." Mary Macdonald next to Katherine stiffened, but other then that acted as though she had not heard.

Valerie examined her nails. "I suppose, but to be honest I would consider everyone in the house blood traitors. Just look at the people they associate themselves with."

Katherine nodded earnestly, "you're totally right."

Valerie ended the conversation by beginning to doodle in her notebook and the other girl immediately got the picture. She didn't get much peace though. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she slowly lifted her head to meet the eyes of Mulciber. He had a smirk spread across his face and clearly had liked her response. She nodded and looked back down to her notes and inwardly shuttered. So much for staying under the radar, lately she must have been pretending a little too well again to compensate for her weak stomach because the Slytherin Gang had taken an even greater interest in her.

"Alright class" Slughorn interrupted the muttering students. "Today we will be brewing Befuddlement Draught. Can anyone tell me what effect of this potion is?"

Immediately Lily Evans raised her delicate hand. "The Befuddlement Draught inflames the brain of the person who drinks it and makes them act belligerent and reckless."

"Very good Miss. Evans, ten points to Gryffindor."

Unanimously all the Slytherins glared at her though the petite redhead did not seem to notice. However it affected Valerie greatly. All she could see was Lilys face in shock and words Mudblood ringing in the air. It was an image that haunted her at night. The thought that she was the first one to call her that, that she had been the one to shatter this strong independent girl. Her chair screeched and she realized she had stood up.

"Umm Miss Prince was there something you needed?"

"No. I mean yes I think I need to go to the Hospital Wing I'm feeling a little light headed." Valerie concentrated on not letting a blush rise to her face. She hadn't meant to stand up, but she had that feeling in her stomach again. It was worse this time since she hadn't been eating she'd hoped it would stop the vomit, but apparently it wasn't enough. Her body was physically rejected the beliefs that had been instilled in her since birth.

"Of course. Mr. Lupin why don't you escort Ms. Prince to Madame Pomfrey. Can't have one of my best pupils fainting in the hallways."

Valerie nodded with no argument everyone knew it was pointless to argue with Slughorn. She rushed out of the room and Lupin had to run to catch up with her.

They walked the empty corridors together and made quite the pair. Her with her shoulders straight back, nose slightly in the air to show her superiority, and graceful steps. Lupin on the other hand had his shoulders hunched, hands shoved into the worn pockets of his frayed robes, and shuffled along. Clearly he felt awkward too. He started to talk, but the words were lost to her. A loud ringing filled her ears and the brick walls spun around her. Black filled the edges of her vision and her knees gave out. She would've fallen if it hadn't been for the warm hand that wrapped around her waist. He helped her lower herself to the ground and kneeled in front of her. "Are you okay?"

She managed to pick her head up and was surprised by his genuine concern. It made the shame she felt even stronger. She was weak why did she need the help of this disgraceful boy. She heard his mother was a filthy muggle who was always sick, plus he was friends with blood traitors and mud-

Valerie roughly pushed him away and the proceeded to heave up the few contents in her stomach right where he had been. The pure blood beliefs were invading her brain the person she was pretending to be was becoming a reality. She heaved again and again but there was nothing left. She couldn't breath couldn't stop her stomach as it turned. Lupin let go of her hair, that at some point he must of started to hold out of the way, and kneeled in front of her again careful to avoid the mess she had made. His placed his hands on her shoulders. Valerie lifted her head pitifully to see a stern look on his face.

"Breathe"

"What?" she croaked out.

"Breathe. Relax and focus on breathing slowly."

She did as he said and pulled oxygen into her aching lungs. They sat still like that for a few minutes. His eyes trained on her face as he waited for color to return. "I'm fine" she spoke softly.

Slowly she began to stand and he placed his arm around her waist once again. She wanted to push it away but knew it would result in a painful collision with the floor. The journey to the Hospital Wing was slow and she was surprised he didn't try to speak with her. He left her with Madame Pomfrey and returned to class.

She didn't say thank you.


End file.
